It was 10 months ago when my mother died. The pain is still here but I promised her, I wouldn’t cry. Not for so long, mama… How could I? It was the wind beneath my wings who said and bid goodbye.
She was sick for 2 long years. She had liver cirrhosis but her health deteriorated the month of September, last year, 2016. From then on, we were in and out of the hospital and her room in the house became an extension of it.
Her stay with us was worthwhile spent. We looked after her most of the time. It wasn’t easy. Her 3 oxygen tanks needed to be refilled alternately, for most of the time she was grasping for her breath.
She was asleep most of the time. And when she was awake, she would tell stories when my ate and I were still young. My heart wanted to cry during those times but I just can’t. We need to be strong for mama for she drew her strength from us.
When she could, she laughed as if she was fine and totally okay. But deep within those unuttered words, was the pain, the agony of having to carry liters of water in her tummy. How I wished I could replace her even one day, so she could enjoy her normal life, spent ballroom dancing and as an active officer of our Barangay Association. She was solely bearing the pain, hiding it, but her eyes had it all spoken.
Months after months…Days after Days…Hour after an hour…Minute after every Minute…She was so thin and she said she was ready to go. She held me and my ate in her arms and said, “I am happy because of you. When I am gone, do not cry. Be always there for each other.”
The following day, she was so weak so we rushed her to the hospital. She was not even talking at all. Two days had gone by. That nightmare came when one morning, my brother called and said that mama was almost gone. She had a very weak pulse, her heart was beating too slow.
I rushed to the hospital and saw my mother almost without breath. Suddenly, tears rolled down her cheeks. Those deep brown eyes stared at me with pale lips slightly smiling. I held her hands… The monitors were recording less of her vital signs until after 3 hours, there was none at all. How heartbreaking it was!
Mama did a good fight. Above all, she was able to do her sweetest farewell….